love never fails.

Photos from my birthday @ Nabins.

My friday was awesomezzz.

No, I'm not talking about school. -.- But after school ended, I went to find Amir & Jiawen at the open house. Free popcorns! Hahaha. Bought dinner from Mr Handsome at the economic rice stall, went home.

Went out to meet W & YH at Bugis in the night. Went to Nabins, this time its a different outlet from the one I went on Guiling's & my birthday. Hmmm, the place like very cramp. Ordered 2 jugs of Heineken & grape sheesha. I tried sheesha for the first time!! YH also first time. Lol. Actually, it's not that bad as I thought. Stayed at there until 1am?? Then cabbed to Powerhouse. Ahhhh, in the end also nvr go in, cos W's safra card doesn't belong to him and he can't sign us in. Tsk, wasted. Went to Mac for supper, then cabbed home. I had fun. :D

you come and you leave.
because you know i'll always be there for you.
because i'm in love with you.
and i can't do anything about it.
except to wait.
for you to come back to me.
and then leave me again.

Photos from Marina Barage (2 January) are up on facebook. Here are some.

Kite flying with Adeline & Kendrick.Me & Kendrick tried assembling the kite.Adeline & I flying the kite. It was really windy that afternoon.

After flying the kite, we went down to wait for the rest of the cg members to arrive.Adeline!Me!

So Ethan, Gabriel & Cindy came. Played monopoly deal before heading up to fly the kite again.Haha. Gabe picking nose.Uh, self explantory. The string got tangled.Tsk. Girls.

School is bleahxzxz. Sibei boring sia. First day of school already accounting. -.- But its okay, I got chocolate from Amir, and bubblegum from Charles. Teehee.

So, I got to know my modules for Year 2 semester 1 already. Like sian only. Can't believe I still need to do accounting for another 15 weeks in year 2. Seriously, what has accounting got to do with my course huh? Besides Management Accounting and Micro Economics, I think the rest is okay. Quite interesting.I'm hungry. :/

My busy busy Sunday. I wanted to sleep early on Saturday night because I know I had to wake up at 8am to serve for CHCC, but didn't get to sleep until 4am. So, had my 4 hours of sleep before preparing for church. I bought breakfast to eat on the way too! I seldom buy breakfast, btw. Anyway, went to serve until 1pm, before heading to airport with the rest for lunch. Ate at Crystal Jade, a bit heartpain cos all my money fly away. );

After lunch, Adeline & I went to Marina Barrage together with Ken. Went there to fly kite, met up with the rest of the cg members, played monopoly deal, yeah all that. Went home thereafter. Was dead tired. Zzzz... School tomorrow. So irritating. Tsk.

I was reflecting on my past relationship with Vincent. & I realised, that I had hurt such a great man because of my mistake. Our breakup was very sudden, very painful. It might seem to you people that I'm being very hypocritical here because I wrote that I cheated on him and here I am writing about this bullshit. But it hurts to let him go too, afterall, we both loved one another. I don't know what went wrong. Was it because we didn't have the right foundation from the beginning? Or perhaps the distance between us that weakened our communication and understanding for one another? Maybe it's the people around me that pulled me away from him. Or is it, as much as I don't want to admit, the feelings I had for him had faded? I remember just 2 weeks before, I'd cry if I missed a call from him. What happened between us, Bb? Despite my mother's disagreements, I still wanted to be with you. I don't care if you smoke, I don't care if you have a tattoo, I don't care if you're an ITE graduate. I still loved you. And I don't want to lose you, I don't want to let you go. But this is the right thing to do. I can't hold on to something I don't deserve. My decision to break up with Vincent was a strong, solid one. Because I did so many things to let him down, there's not one reason for me to keep him anymore. Even after our breakup, I did consider being back together with you, but I can't love you knowing that I'm just gong back to you for the wrong reasons. There might be cracks in our relationship that can be mended, but what I did, can never be fixed. What's done is done, no matter how much you forgive me, I can't erase that fact that I fell in love with another man. But still, I really want to thank him for being there for me during 2010. There are things I do which you don't like, even after voicing out your discontent, I stubbornly did things my way. I didn't change my attitude, I made you angry. But thank you for loving me all these while. I'm sorry for pushing you away, to be truthful, my heart hurts seeing you in pain, but I had to stay firm and stand on my decision to break up with you. Because I don't deserve you. Everytime we hang the phone, there were thoughts of what you would do without me, hearing you cry for me like that, but I can't go back to you, only intensified your heartache. I'm really sorry. I don't know what to do except to push you away. I feel really bad for pushing you away when you needed me the most, but I know you can be strong. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, remember this phrase? Be strong alright? I don't know who I am to you right now, maybe you don't need me anymore, maybe you've moved on. But nonetheless, I wish you will find your happiness, and a new love. One that is pure, affirmative, selfless, non-judgmental and overflowing. Find someone who will love you more than I do. I'm setting you free. You don't need to love a bitch like me. A person like me can never be deserving for your love. But for the 1 year 10 months of us being together, I have truly loved you from the bottom of my heart. And I don't regret anything, this love we once shared, I will never forget it. You were my strength, and I'm grateful for that. But I'm sorry I couldn't hold onto you, it's my loss. I really don't deserve you, you are too great for someone like me. I've made so many mistakes that seperated us, we can't be together anymore. I'm really sorry. But I just want you to know, you're not out of my heart yet, I still care for you as much as before. Seeing you like this, it pains me too, I know I'm in no position to say this, I can't stop you from clubbing or drinking, just take care of yourself okay? Don't get wasted because of this. I hope one day we will get in contact with each other. Like I said, I'm not going to leave you. I'm still here. I just can't be by your side, can't be your girl anymore. But no matter what, I won't leave you. :)

I still cry at the thought of not having you by my side.

Just looking back at all the events that happened in 2010. A little entry to refresh how crappy my life had been.

In 2010,

I went to my grandma's sister's creamation & stood there emotionless as I watched the casket wheel into the creamatorium; while all my relatives and parents cried. For the first time, I felt like a heartless beast.

My iPhone was stolen while I was working.

I made new friends from my new school, Republic Polytechnic. Formed a clique too. Consisted of Jiawen, Sharlotte, Benjamin, Amir & me! Love them to the max.

I made my very first, male best friend, Amir. I mean, I have male friends when I was in LYSS before, just not so close to them to actually call them "best friend".

Compete in cheerleading for Asia Conference 2010. Parade Of Schools Poly-ite cluster. We lost.

Worked at Amber Lounge during F1 event. Best working experience ever.

Went drinking for the first time. That night was just the beginning of all the mistakes I was about to commit.

Started the new semester with a new class. E25L.

Cheated on Vincent. Ended my 1 year 10 months relationship with him.

Went to Universal Studios.

Became a slut.

Had my first birthday surprise at home from my clique, which now includes Ignatius, Jiawen's boyfriend.

Got my heart crushed by some jerk.

Parents got divorced. Fucking adults, I don't want to care about you people anymore.

Oh well, that sums up my 2010. Pretty crappy, but yeah. I'll survive 2011. Go Sharon! Hahahaha, who am I kidding? My life is screwed. Fuck my fucking life.

Today, I have confirmed that I'm not some attention-seeking bitch you see on the streets of geylang. Why? Because I dislike men, filthy men, looking at me like I'm their next to-do list. I don't do well under the spotlight, with so many pairs of eyes looking in my direction. No, that's just not me. I don't like the attention.

Ladies night at I don't know where. Initially went to Butter Factory, but it was mad crowded. Full house already. Then go see Zirca, Yello Jello, also the same. Ended up in Lunar. Stayed there for a while before cabbing back home. Drank on an empty stomach, but thank god I didn't drink so much, cos I wouldn't want to puke my way back home like the dude in the taxi stand. Poor guy. Tsk.Removing my makeup.